LYRIC: Pulse (January)

Another night my mind again won’t let me sleep

I lay awake just listening out to my heart beat

You’d have thought

after all these years

I’d get used to it

Anxiety

Too many in the grave all dead before their time

Genetic legacy: I’m scared their fate is mine

But when they were alive my fears were much the same

I can’t recall the last time I felt fully sane

You’d have thought

after all these years

I’d get used to it

Anxiety

They say that mindfulness helps

Focus on my breathing -  in and out

They say that mindfulness helps

But all it helps me do is focus on that frantic beating pounding pulse

As soon as life is good my mind sends it to hell

I only fear I’m dying when I’m living well

You’d have thought

after all these years

I’d get used to it

Anxiety

Just when I think I’m out that’s when it pulls me in

I think I’m doing fine then find I’m listening

To self-destructive thoughts, the pulse beats in my ears

Next thing I know I’m once more drowning in my fears

You’d have thought

after all these years

I’d get used to it

Anxiety

They say that exercise helps

Endorphins keep the demon thoughts at bay

They say that exercise helps

But all it helps me do is focus on that frantic beating pounding pulse