POEM: Losing Me

It’s been a year at least since I slept the whole night through.

And when I concede defeat and swap blankets for coffee at the sound of the alarm,

I pretend everybody wakes up with their stomach in knots.

That breakfast is a meal best served choked.

And that if I play my music loud enough,

I’ll learn to smile through my commute.

Parking the car my feet feel stuck.

My hands don’t leave the wheel.

And I imagine turning around and never coming back.

Before I sadly turn the key,

Slowly open the door,

Succumbing once more,

To the monotony of cowardice.

But one day you will see;

My secret power is my power to say no.