I see others breeze through life in a way which seems so alien to me

Unburdened by the weight of their days darkened by anxiety

Never knowing what it’s like to not feel normal in a crowd

Undisturbed by nagging voices planting concerns oh-so-loud

It’s like a war is going on but the only soldier fighting’s me

And no-one else who shares my flag can even see there is an enemy

The main collateral damage is my day-to-day sanity

“The price, we think, ain’t worth it”, says a grimly smiling Secretary

“This war will be a long war and we cannot see an end in sight,

It may well be that in your life a day won’t pass free from this fight.”

Another day, another worry

I’m not recovering in a hurry

They say it takes time but I’m having doubts

How much time before my time runs out?

When I was a kid they used to say I was the serious one

Always picking problems where the other kids were having fun

Get these ideas in my head that I just couldn’t seem to shake

But I learnt early that a smile was a thing people liked it if I faked

Familiar feelings of a heart crank-speeding in my chest

Constricted throat, no breath, my hands and face encased in sweat

I’d look around for help but knew no help I’d ever get

External weapons could make no contact with this internal threat

And so I learned to cope by learning that I probably never would

And that the sort of life which others had was something that I never could

Yeah, I would never never know a day that would be footloose and fancy-free

I would never know a day I would be free from my anxiety

Another day, another worry

I’m not recovering in a hurry

They say it takes time but I’m having doubts

How much time before my time runs out?

I suppose at this point we should start talking about meds

The use of chemicals to put right problems in our heads

The kind you get from doctors and the kinds they cannot give

The drugs that ease the pressure and restore the will to live

Except I never took a thing, and I probably never will

Not that I have anything against those who try to get help from a pill

It’s just a code I arbitrarily imposed — maybe once there was a reason but now who the hell knows?

That I wouldn’t put those poisons in my veins or up my nose

Couldn’t see a reason to add addiction to my growing list of woes

Some tell me I’m straightedge because I’m scared of losing grip

Others tell me that I seek control and a life I can predict

Me, I think it has to do with drunken people being dicks

But it could be emetophobia and my fear of being sick?

Most likely its my dad and all the harm I saw it do

But it’s also got to do with what is false and what is true

Because I could achieve synthetically the state I’m looking for

But to get better authentically would mean a whole lot more

Another day, another worry

I’m not recovering in a hurry

They say it takes time but I’m having doubts

How much time before my time runs out?

Did I bring it on myself or is it in genetic code?

Was it the way they brought me up or did I do it on my own?

Always fearing for the worst and seeing clouds in silver linings

Seeing everything will fall apart with a clarity that’s blinding

Thinking about those origins – the problem in another form

Anxiety about anxiety: was it made or was it born?

The fact is, it doesn’t matter how it came but that it’s here

And I’m sick of every day filled with a litany of fear

But the alternative is worse so I dig in and persevere

Because although I’m terrified I’m still glad that I am still here

Cuz I refuse to be held prisoner by some voices in my head

And I’ll perform my prison break each day I rise up from my bed

I’m not convinced I have discovered yet the key to set me free

But I keep picking at the lock to escape each day’s anxiety

And I feel good about my chances as the battle rages on

And I will conquer every day until my last tomorrow’s come